Coming out has brought me closer to my family

It’s taken me five years to accept I’m gay. Five years of anxiety, denial, depression, unease and deceit. Five years to acknowledge my sexuality and prepare to tell my family. How long did it take them to accept it? About five seconds.

Coming out to my family and friends was perhaps my proudest achievement of 2012. I might have bungee jumped off a bridge in New Zealand and volunteered as a Games Maker at the Olympics, but nothing compares to the relief of finally accepting and being accepted as the person you really are. It has boosted my confidence, made me feel at ease with the world and brought me closer to my family.

It was midway through secondary school that my feelings towards boys started blossoming, although in hindsight it was probably earlier then that when the feelings were noticeable. Flashback to my hot neighbour across the road and it all comes flooding back. I had a love of drama, singing and dancing from such an early age, which for most parents would raise the alarm. It’s certainly something my mother was well aware of.

“You’re really gay? I’ve known since you were nine!” was her response when I came out to her in early September last year. Picking the perfect moment - she was driving when I told her - she pushed her foot down slightly harder on the accelerator then she would normally as we drove up the dual carriageway. Car crash averted, thankfully.

I knew my Mum would take it well. In fact, I knew she knew. When I was still curled up inside her womb she famously told my grandmother that I would grow up to be a ‘ballet dancer’, much to my grandmother’s horror (she declared I’d be a footballer. I hate football. Sorry Grandma.) So even from birth it looked like I was destined for the life of a gay man. And here I am. Happy, comfortable; out and proud.

Nevertheless, it still took me five long, emotional years to accept it. Secondary school is no place for a gay boy. I was taunted by boys for being ‘camp’, quizzed by bitchy girls about my sexuality and ridiculed for my love of acting and the limelight. Thankfully, I hid it well. Choosing to ignore it at first proved the best option, and kissing girls and having a couple of girlfriends kept the bullies at bay. But a boy who hated sport, was only friends with girls and loved Hairspray and Strictly Come Dancing was always going to be coming out the closet at some point.

College swiftly passed by and again, the rumours persisted, but my stance remained the same. “It’s just a phase,” I’d repeat to myself every day. I used to make resolutions every new year that I wouldn’t look at a man in a certain way, that I wouldn’t watch any indecent videos online, but it took only a few days for my hormones to get the better of me and admit defeat as I flicked through Youporn.

Living in the country didn’t help things. No one was gay, apart from the stereotypical gay’s who everyone loathed and who I tried to avoid on most occasions. There was no one to talk to. There were perhaps one or two friends I knew at school who felt the same way, but speaking with them only made me more and more confused. Bottling it up and trying to forget about it made me depressed and emotional. It meant I kept my distance from my family, locked myself up in my room away from my family and their rumours. On one occasion, when I overheard my mum and younger brother discussing my sexuality (he used to tease me regularly, despite being very welcoming and protective now), I felt so low I was determined to change.

University was the moment for change. Getting away from my family seemed the perfect opportunity to forget about my previous feelings and start afresh. Knowing no one else was perfect, it meant people didn’t gossip about you or question your sexuality. It was perfect. I was kissing girls, living the life of a fresher.

But I was living a lie. Deep down, I knew the act couldn’t last forever. The other good thing about university is that the majority of people here are open and liberal about attitudes to sexuality. I mix with lesbians, bisexuals and gays on a day-to-day basis and no one complains, no one stares and no one is secretly gossiping about you behind your back.

On one drunken night, I kissed a boy who was staying with my friend for the weekend. I knew what I wanted, I knew I had to finally do it and face up to it. And it felt good. From that point on I knew I was gay, I just had to learn to be comfortable with it. A few months down the line and after meeting a few guys through Twitter for dates, I finally met one who made me see me for who I really was. A 19-year-old student hoping to crack the world of journalism, who also happens to be a homosexual. It was the first moment in all my life that I finally felt comfortable, and most of all, happy.

And from then on, I’ve never looked back. Soon after telling my Mum, I told my university friends and childhood pals. All were happy for me, even if most of them were unsurprised. Coming out was easy. Trying not to make a big deal out of it was reassuring, like a weight lifting from your shoulders. Once I had told a few key friends, I waited for the rumours to do the talking. Now most people know and there have been no problems.

My relationship with my family however has been the key change. Short of throwing me a ‘coming out’ party and belting out that infamous Diana Ross song, my Mum stood by me as I told the rest of my family. Despite a few shocks by one or two relatives, everyone has been understanding and supportive. Now I’ve told them, we can go back to normal. And that’s just it, I am normal. I have not changed who I am; my personality hasn’t gone from a moderate Neil Patrick-Harris to an over-excited Alan Carr.

I’m still Kieran. The white elephant in the room has been addressed and there are no more awkward glances between my family, glances that ask, “Is he? Isn’t he?” I can even joke about it to my Mum, who recently sent me a 'coming-out' card with two Ken dolls from Barbie getting married. I guess I can only thank the woman who bought me Abba Gold as my first album when I was ten (yes that happened, and yes my favourite song is Fernando.)

So my big bad secret turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me. A happy, single gay man looking forward to a successful, colourful future.

(Picture: the card my Mum sent me)

Quick note to say if you want to discuss any issues I've raised or the experiences I've been through, or if you just fancy a natter, you can talk to me through my twitter account: @kieranwatkins or via email, kdj_says_hey@hotmail.co.uk

Medway braces itself for ice and snow

Gritting lorries and snowploughs are at the ready as Medway braces itself for snow and ice.

With temperatures falling into the minuses and snow falling across other parts of the country, Medway Council have reassured residents that they are fully prepared for an outbreak of snow.

More than 5,000 tonnes of salt has been stockpiled for the Medway area, with 388 salt bins fully stocked on streets and roads.

Eight gritting lorries will be safeguarding the major roads across Medway following news from the Met Office that “heavy snow showers” could hit the South East this weekend.

Councillor Phil Filmer, Medway Council’s Portfolio Holder for Front Line Services, said: “The forecasts for snow over the weekend may be uncertain, but there is the potential for wintry showers over the weekend and into next week.

“Medway Council are fully prepared and our teams will be working hard to salt all primary and secondary routes across the area and minimise any potential disruption to residents,” he added.

University students have been advised to check the universities snow procedure in the outbreak of snow.

With many students returning to university this Monday (January 14), both the University of Kent and Canterbury Christ Church University have stressed that caretakers will clear pathways and grit paths in order to keep the university open.

The University of Kent said that “in adverse weather conditions, the university will not normally close”, whilst Canterbury Christ Church said that they “will strive to keep the primary on site pathways and roads clear of snow / ice in inclement weather.”

Students and residents are advised to check before going to work or university.

For Medway Council news on Snow and Ice, visit: www.medway.gov.uk
For the University of Kent, visit:http://www.kent.ac.uk/campusonline/campusnews.html?id=snow-and-ice-procedure.txt
For Canterbury Christ Church visit: http://www.canterbury.ac.uk/support/facilities-services/estates-infrastructure/winter-gritting.asp

Pictures courtesy of Wikipedia

Medway universities make National Kissing League

(written by Kieran Watkins, taken from The Medwire)

The first University Kissing League results have been released, with all three universities from the Medway campus making the league.

The University of Kent appeared above the University of Greenwich and Canterbury Christchurch University, placing 31st on the league.

The league gives an average for the number of people students are likely to have kissed in the last term.

According to the survey, conducted by studentbeans.com, each student from the University of Kent locked lips with an average of 3.03 people since September 2012.

The University of Greenwich placed 66 with an average of 2.1, with Canterbury Christ Church significantly lower with an average of just 1.37, placing 84th on the list.

Topping the league, which surveyed 4,039 students from 89 universities, was Northumbria University, where each student has kissed an average of 6.13 people. To read the results, follow visit Student Beans

New train station planned for Rochester

A new station for residents in Rochester could help improve train services.

Network Rail plans to move the current station to a new site to allow more passengers to use the station, and allow for a more reliable, quicker service.

The current station, just off Rochester High Street, has few car parking spaces and platforms that can only accommodate 10-carriage trains.

With regeneration on Rochester Riverside already underway, passenger numbers are expected to rise by 30% over the next few years, meaning the current station will be inadequate to support the growing population.

Addressing these figures, Network Rail have proposed to move the current station to Corporation Road Car Park as part of a £25million investment in rail infrastructure.

With more car parking spaces and longer platforms accommodating for 12-carriage and more passengers, it is hoped the plan will prove a hit with the local council and local people.

Councillor Rodney Chambers, Medway Council Leader and Regeneration Lead, said: “If this proposal gets the go ahead it will lead to a new, better train station for Rochester

“It will result in a quicker, more reliable service with more space for passengers,” he added.

The station would be closer to the main town centre then the current station, with a new subway planned to link the station to the shopping parade. Train users would also benefit from being closer to the main bus routes running through the town.

If approved, the station would take up 1/3 of the land on Corporation Road, and would be scheduled to open in 2015.

It is believed Network Rail will submit a planning application for the proposals later this year.

Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

So which baby will be crowned King (or Queen) of 2013?

Earth will welcome two exciting additions to the already over-packed world that we call home today, but the question I ask is, which new addition will be most popular.

I am of course talking about babies. Two couples announced they were pregnant last year to much publicity and excitement. The unborn girls or boys will catch the attention of all the media when they eventually arrive on the planet.

The first baby to get excited about is of course the Royal baby. Last year, Prince William and Kate Middleton announced, after intense scrutiny by the media and numerous rumours, that they were indeed expecting their first child. An eventual heir to the throne, this little boy or girl will be much talked about when it eventually arrives later on this year. A life in front of the cameras, a Mum and Dad as Queen and Kind, lots of money paid by the taxpayer; that baby is certainly going to have it all. I have already started thinking about names. I reckon Victoria if a girl, George if a boy (Diana will probably be a middle name).

It is great news for the UK, who after the Olympics and the jubilee, need a little pick-me-up to get us through the year. The Royal Baby could prove just the ticket, and with the Royal’s popularity increasing to record figures, the baby will no doubt add to the Royal’s support.

However, the Royal baby faces competition from showbiz royalty, the Queen of Reality TV, Kim Kardashian. Whether it surprises you or not, Kim has announced she is preggers with her first baby. 2012 proved quite interesting for Kim, an A-list celebrity in her own right, despite most people being unable to understand why she‘s famous. She broke up with her husband after just 92 days as man and wife, launched her clothing line in the UK and started dating rapper Kanye West. Now the couple have announced their first baby, despite Kim still waiting on her divorce to be granted from Kris Humphries.

Kim, no stranger to the limelight, will do anything to stay in the magazines, so it is no surprise that some of the media have attacked this pregnancy as another media stunt. Whatever it is, it is great to see her happy. No doubt we will all be watching the baby escape from the womb on the E! Channel this summer. I for one welcome the news. Maybe she will stick with the ‘K’ theme and call it after me. Kieran Kardashian has a nice ring to it!

Whatever happens, both babies will be on the front pages of all the magazines and newspapers later this year, and with Kim and Kanye planning on a London love nest, who knows what will happen. Maybe the two babies will end up going to the Montessori together. Somehow, I don’t think the Queen will allow it!

Pictures courtesy of Wikipedia

Top shows for 2013

The Christmas holidays have given me time to catch up on Britain’s favourite pastime, television. I have watched everything from comedy to period drama, and if you are looking to fill the hours with viewing pleasure, make sure you check out my following picks:

1. Death in Paradise - the second series of the hit comedy-drama kicks off today, with Ben Miller returning to Guadeloupe as bumbling police officer Richard Poole. With Jamelia and Stephanie Beacham all guest starring this season, the 8-part series offers a light-hearted but comical outlook on the world of crime on a small Caribbean island (Tuesdays at 9pm, BBC One)

2. Africa with David Attenborough - this series has to be one of the best documentaries I have ever watched. With stunning cinematography catching the most outrageous yet real-life images of Rhino’s flirting and Giraffe’s duelling, this new series from everyone’s favourite nature presenter is a must-watch (Wednesdays at 9pm, BBC One)

3. Modern Family - although a new series is not yet showing, fans of My Family, Malcolm in the Middle or In with the Flynns will love this American series. It’s laugh-out-loud funny, showcasing three different families and their ordinary lives, with humorous results. The gorgeous Sofia Vergara also appears, so you could just watch it for her (Sky 1)

4. Restless - a fantastic two-part series I managed to catch over Christmas, the BBC’s adaptation of the classic William Boyd book was fantastic, with enough drama and suspense to fill the 3 hours of screen time. With a stellar cast of acting greats including Hayley Atwell and Michael Gambon, fans of espionage and crime will love this series (BBC iPlayer, or available on DVD soon)

5. Ripper Street - this new series, based in the grimy streets of 19^th century London, is not only gruesome but also fantastically shot. The first episode kicked off with more drama, blood and gore then an episode of Holby City. Based loosely on the events after Jack the Ripper, the series is bound to excite and shock viewers nationwide (Sundays at 9pm, BBC One)

6. Mr Selfridge - forget Downton, ITV have launched a new period drama, this time marking the opening of Selfridges, one of Oxford Street’s most iconic department stores. With a strong cast and gorgeous sets, the series has been applauded by the critics, and makes a change from the usual reality tv-crap on ITV (Sundays at 9pm, ITV One)

7. Miranda - perhaps the funniest female comic in the UK, Miranda has returned with arguably her best series ever. Half way in to the series and I’m still falling off the sofa in hysterics at the very funny antics of Miranda Hart, who just warms the whole living room with her easy-going, no-nonsense comedy. (Mondays at 9pm, BBC One)

8. Winners & Losers - the second series of this fantastic Australian series has just finished on ITV 2, but you can still catch up online and on ITV Player. The finale of series 2 ended with an explosion, a revelation, a hostage and a suicide attempt; it’s crazy what happens in Oz right! (ITV 2/ ITV Player)

And a few not to watch:

9. Splash! With Tom Daley - I didn’t realise ITV could scrape the barrel any lower, but it seems they can. The latest reality tv concept see’s celebrities (or rather, has-beens or nobodies) learn how to dive in front of the camera, with help from diver Tom Daley. I don’t know what irritates me the most; the fact ITV just won’t stop with the same-old boring celebrity-reality tv concept, or the fact that Tom Daley is so desperate for attention I now have to see him on my TV every week. Please ITV, send Splash! too the deepest, darkest depths.

10. Celebrity Big Brother - it is a shame that Channel Five seem so persistent on broadcasting Big Brother 52 weeks of the year, because the channel is actually improving across the board. Trisha Goddard is back, their documentaries and lifestyle programmes are actually interesting and the imports from the US are pretty good. But sadly this is all ruined by Celebrity Big Brother/ Big Brother. The only programme that actually has celebrities on it is Strictly Come Dancing, and thank god that is only on once a year. So please Channel 5, ditch the show and focus on your other attributes.

　

So what was the greatest event of 2012?

Wow. Therefore, 2012 has gone, departed, left us for a completely new year full of dreams, worries and who knows what else. Despite claims we would all be killed in 2012 (those Mayans must be kicking themselves), we are all still here and the majority of us are still healthy.

So what will 2013 offer us? A year of hope? Well with the country still bracing itself for more cuts, money is still tight and we are likely to continue to feel the pinch.

Nevertheless, we have lots to look forward to. Thanks to 2012 and the Olympic legacy, the whole country seems to be going sporting mad. Up and down the country, people are digging out their dusty rackets or oiling their bike chains and getting fit again. Already I have booked a gym induction and started my night-time routine of sit-ups and press-ups. Who needs a night cap when you can have a deadly concoction of exercise and more exercise instead?

The Olympics were undoubtedly the biggest talking point of 2012. Forget the budget, forget Gangnam Style; London was the focal point for all of Britain and indeed the world. The country was painted gold as we celebrated the achievements of Wiggo, Ennis, Farah and co. For me, it was personal journey that I loved every minute of. Having the chance to work at the Olympics, see some of the sporting action and indeed the athletes at the parade was fantastic, an opportunity I shall treasure forever.

The Olympics even overshadowed the Queen to become the nation’s event of 2012. Poor Liz just could not compare to the Spice Girls, Sir Chris Hoy or Ellie Simmonds in the Paralympics. Yes, we had two sporting events this year to give us something to smile about; the Paralympics were just as successful and just as exciting as the Olympics, despite the fact most of us forgetting about the Paralympics.

It is a tribute to the fantastic efforts of so many of our sporting stars that many of our Olympic heroes are being awarded knighthoods and honours. All of them thoroughly deserve the attention and glory, they did our country proud and we will never forget what they have achieved. It leaves me teary eyed to think the Olympics won’t be back on this year, but alas, we have plenty of other sporting events to look forward to in the future; the Rugby World Cup, the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow 2014, and of course Rio in 2016. I’m already tempted to dig out my maracas and join the party in Rio as a volunteer!

So raise your glass to 2012, a year of sport, the year the UK put aside its problems and joined in the celebrations to mark what was perhaps the most successful Olympics ever witnessed by the world. Well done Great Britain, well done 2012!

Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

Hello 2013 - message from the jourknow

Happy New Year everyone. I hope you all had a lovely New Year, partying hard and downing vodka like it's 2012. I certainly was, dressed up as Where's Wally in a bar in Devon, looking after my drunk friend and watching the fireworks. Sounds like fun right!?

It's hard to believe that 2012 has been and gone, it really was a fantastic year. Sporting success, London in the spotlight, a surge in popularity for the Queen, Britain out of the recession etc...everything looked promising for once.

Let's hope the good luck will continue for 2013. I wish you all the best of luck with work, school, uni, college, future travel plans etc. Good luck!

As for the jourknow, I will be continuing on into the new year with more blog posts. Last term was a busy one for me at University, so I hope to spend more time this year with creating and uploading fresh blog posts. Keep on checking the site for updates :)

Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it.

Kieran Watkins